lighting

This is the best day of my life

It’s been a long time since something blew my skirt up and made me want a cigarette. But – just in time for my birthday – comes these sweet little numbers.

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LED lighting is way overdue for a makeover and it’s finally here. These pups are on indiegogo, so you can get in on the action early.

Here’s a one minute video and it’s beautiful.

Here are some stills.

This is some next-level Jetson’s lighting here. These are laser etched and the light source is reflected from the bottom to the transparent acrylic glass, just like those tacky, long spaghetti things where they put the light on the bottom and it magically appears at the opposite end.

Here’s one that shows some of their detail:

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These are amazing and I want them now. I have to go adjust myself first.

 

Unexpected Surprise

There’s a builder here in the hood that I don’t love. Don’t want to rag on any builders, but it is what it is. So, you can imagine my surprise when I go there and the interiors are pretty. It’s a disconnect. Like that clear Pepsi from a few years ago. Tastes the same, but you just can’t get on board. Sadly though, it ends up with a B-. Details, people.

I love a courtyard. It’s a tease, ya know? It just says “Come up and see me sometime”.

I’m crushing big on these textured walls. It was like river rock. Beautiful. And this chair at the bottom – just a hint of mid-century. A shout out, if you will.

No post would be complete without lighting to swoon over.

A couple of duds, but mostly good. I love the hanging lamp that looks kinda Moroccan. The lighting gets a B- for lack of imagination and the rest of the decor follows suit. And now, let’s take a look at this…IMG_5083

This builder has managed to take the three things I hate the most and smashed them together. Granite, bathtubs, and wallpaper. I can just hear the people at a conference table all corporate and shit, and they look at each other and say WOW! Why didn’t we think of this before??

It’s giving me the middle finger.

I went to Pier 1

Pier 1 is where I got my first set of dishes. Over the years, it’s been my go-to for misc doo-dads, like a lamp or two, maybe a cool mirror, a random side chair. Stuff like that. Oh-let’s not forget their usually awesome Christmas ornaments. In my family, we have been doing an ornament exchange and it’s been really fun, so Pier 1 is kinda part of the family.

This visit was somewhat uninspired, though. They were putting out new stuff (holy crap-it was Fall stuff. Wha???) Anyway, not too much caught my eye, but I’ll share anyway. You know you want to look.

It was a quickie, for sure. Kinda disappointing.

Big Ass House in Wesley Chapel

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I can’t tell you how jazzed I am to see no granite. Holy crap. Granite has become some kind of standard as to what makes a “nice” kitchen. Please, bitch. It chips, it’s tough to clean, and everyone seems to choose the same color palette. Really? People-you can do better.

This house has Zodiaq and I got the shivers when I saw it. I kinda had to control my squeeling reflex because other people were around. This is not really in the hands of the designer, but a very nice surprise nevertheless.

This designer has used a beautiful color palette and the cohesiveness is very impressive. Only 1 misstep, but it’s one of my pet peeves. Those damn pictures in the hall. I’ll point them out. In spite of this, it gets a straight-up A.

Two videos because I’m not that great. Watch, enjoy. Oh, and I figured out how to put speech bubbles in the videos. More opinionated bullshit for you!!

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Oh god the risers on the stairs make me swoon.

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The grouping of pictures below is one of the things that makes me want to stab myself. There is no circumstance where clusters of pictures like this is acceptable. They’re never hung straight and the pictures themselves are always slightly skewed. That drives me nuts. Just put something else there.

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See those pictures?? Just awful.

Texture is always good. I enjoyed this little vignette in the spare bedroom.

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The lighting in this house was mostly uninspired, but there are some other details that offset that.

Wait-I totally take that back. If the lighting isn’t good, it gets a full letter downgrade. So it gets a B. Actually, a B-. The grade is fair, mostly because of the sexy beast of a sofa and the stairs. Great use of turquoise, though. You get the point, but you aren’t overwhelmed with it. As Martha would say – It’s a good thing.
Part One:

Part Two:

Decorating Zika Virus

Let’s discuss finials. I’ve noticed of late that this detail has been sorely overlooked. Details will test your decorating character. If you think finials are too small of a detail to think about, you’re dead to me. So I came armed with examples of the dismal state of affairs in the Bay Area model homes and hopefully you can be saved.

You’re probably at home thinking these all look the same and I’m yanking your chain. Sadly, these were from DIFFERENT homes, all with a price tag of over 400k. All in one day. Changes things, right?  Builders throw money at their models, so wouldn’t you think these little details would pack a bigger punch?

These two are better than nothing, but you know what? These two lamps came with the finial all ready to go. In my head, there is some person in a lamp factory somewhere who said Wait!!! You can’t let that lamp go outside looking like that. All naked and shit. Put these on.

And just like that, the sun came out. But two lamps are not exactly a trend. So, one more example and then we’re going to get dirty together. The little guy below is someone, somewhere, looking in to the vastness of space and just giving up. Just throwing their hands up. Like a kid with no shoes and you want to wipe his nose.

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I’m not a tease, so let’s take a look at some possibilities.

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Full disclosure, the above are all north of $200, so I’m thinking out of reach for us mortals. If you’re in the 1%, they can be found here.  For the rest of us, How about onyx, jade, or glass?

Things are looking up, right? I have a little weakness for dragonflies, and I found this little gem:

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I enjoy a well curated collection-the thrill of the hunt and all that.

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These are supposed to be for curtains and believe me, we will get to curtains, but I think these would be great on a drab lamp. These too:

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I’m particularly a fan of pineapples and fleur de lis. Lots of whimsy, texture, and imagination. There are trillions of examples on the internet. How hard is this, designers??

 

Oooohh. Touch me right there.

Finally. A model home that is just right. Doesn’t take itself too seriously and it looks like someone lives there. Let’s go down on this bitch. Oh, there are a shitload of pictures. It was a 2 story house and I loved almost everything in it. So-if you don’t like to look – well, if you don’t like to look, what the hell are you doing here?

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This lamp makes me swoon.

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The upstairs was whimsical and had a super cute dog theme. If you don’t love dogs, I don’t even want to know you. They did a really good job of choices and placement.

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I love the fishnets they used for curtains. Good imagination. And that purple/lavender wallpaper kinda makes me want to go to the dark side. With you.

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This lamp. Goodness. The glass is fabulous and I love that the inside of the shade matches. You sexy little bitch.

IMG_3518 IMG_3519 IMG_3520 IMG_3521  This white on white canvas is textured. It tickles.

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Oversized pictures can be tricky but this one works perfectly at the end of this hall. Tip of the hat to you, designer.

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This lamp. Fuck me up the ass.

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Nice legs there, little lady.

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These croquis are super fun. I think I would have painted them, though. A face, maybe some clothes.  Or they could have been on a tandem bike. That would’ve been cool.

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Oh dear. The owl. Will we ever escape?

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The boys’ room was pretty cool. They took that football theme all the way, didn’t they? And yet, the football is upside down. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t on purpose, but it cracks me up.

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Behind this little glass Jane Russell, what do you see? Could it be granite that clashes with the back splash? Because that’s all I see. Every single day. If you’re blind and someone picks out your house for you, remember to ask if the curtains match the carpet. Jeez, people.

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This bedroom is unisex, as far as I’m concerned. Again it has wallpaper I actually like. Super cute fake books.

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Love the Bowler hats.

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I love these glass knots, but I sure am starting to get sick of seeing them. Scale back, designers.

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These chairs give me the vapors. Sexy and smooth.

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These organic “things” (whatever the hell they are) are visually interesting and I don’t think I’d get tired of them in 10 minutes. Tip of the hat.

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All of the pieces of paper stuck in the base of this lamp were little love letters. Swoon.

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A builder detail, but this is finally a backsplash I could live with. Maybe.

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So it’s pretty obvious that this house pleased me. A solid A, for sure. A good portion of that, I admit, was because of the dogs. I’ve been waiting for a designer to incorporate some realness up in here. A lot of creativity and it worked. The whole thing pulled together nicely.

Super cute little guy in Wesley Chapel

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I love this childs room. Rooms for kids have been a pain in my ass for a long time, but lately it seems the designers have stepped up their game. Great detail in this room.

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Super cute, right? The acrylic light really makes it pop.

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This closet has a bench. And great lighting. And a tall vase on the floor. Take me now!!

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I’m not a big fan of round mirrors, but this guy is perfectly placed. There are close-ups of the frame in the second picture, and you can see the fabulous 3-dimensional texture.

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I love this sweet picture of ballet shoes. Not in-your-face Pepto pink.

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Overall I would say I’m down with house. The colors weren’t trying too hard and the overall vibe fit the architecture nicely. I have to give this one a B because I really think they could have done better with the lighting. The light over the dining area was pretty cool, but the lamps and other lighting didn’t make me breathe hard. The sconces made me overlook a few downgrades. Lots of texture and deep yellow. Nice. The living room was rather uninspired and the bathrooms could have been done by a teenager, so I stand by that B.

I went to Pier 1 today

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Glass, Glass, and more glass. I know you read my post about Chihuly, which was not only spectacular, but completely justifies glass of any kind. Look at those little sexy bitches.

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Oh my god-the brown glass one here…makes me swoon a little. It looks like the same shape as the purple one I wrote about a few weeks ago. (Jeez people, keep up. You’re missing the good stuff.) It looks so retro and ‘I Dream of Jeannie’. Love it. And then of course, you have the glass balls. I know your balls aren’t glass and aren’t you happy about that?

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This turquoise floor lamp makes me happy, for sure and the candle holder has a nice shape and it’s a little different. What’s not to love? The one in the middle I took for my own selfish reasons. I’m looking for bedroom lamps right now and was thinking about a wood one because our furniture in there is wood and leather (yeah, baby). So I’m going to gaze for a while and see how it rolls out. Oh you know I’ll share. You’re a voyeur.

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Everything about these three makes me happy. Those white swirls in the first picture are so pretty. The purple ones are fabulous, and that one on the end should really be living with me right now. Super pretty.

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I saw these Martini “glasses” and they just made me happy. They’re metal-I don’t know-maybe aluminum? Anyway, they were striking and unusual. You may get tired of them after a while, though. Or you could just do the obvious and mix them up with your other martini glasses. I know you drink.

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Yes, red is a thing now. We’ll do a dish event when I feel like it, but I thought you may want a little peek. I really like red in the house. It doesn’t come close to my undying love for turquoise, but it’s up there. And can you even stand that chair?!? I love it so much, what did I do? I bought two of them. I’m getting rid of my leather loveseat in the living room and will replace that with these and a little table between them. I love the color and the whimsy. I believe I’ve mentioned that my house is on the smaller side and is very modest. They stay true to the size, architecture, and lightness of the house. These will perk it up and add to that homey vibe.

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And finally. Remember when I wrote about this owl thing? Well, in fairness to owls everywhere, I felt like I owed it to you to show you yet another one. This one doesn’t provoke my gag reflex though, but I still don’t want this shit in my home.