Month: October 2016

The little train that could

Today’s installment is this little guy in Wesley Chapel. Not really “little” because it was over 3,000 sf. It had some good elements and flowed nicely, but it was just so neutral, I found myself wanting to get some glitter or bright throw pillows and just toss them in the air.

I enjoyed the small rain sticks on the coffee table. There were a few Asian influences like these scattered around, but not enough to make me dry heave. This little table (below) is a rock star. Love the curves.

The last picture was really my favorite thing. It’s the wax seals that people used back in the day. You had a long wax stick and an ornate metal die. They were usually a family seal or an initial. For scale, the shadowbox is 8 x 10, so that should give you a sense of the size of the wax blobs. As far as I’m concerned, these wax thingies are the only reason to go old school and write a letter.

Love the dining chairs. I’ve saved the best for last, though. Check out these juicy sweet cornices!!!

Yes, please.

Jugglery

My favorite thing about model homes is the fake food. I know you didn’t see that coming, but these little gems are forgotten treasures. Everyone goes through the model looking at floors and god-awful granite, but they walk right by the fabulous fake food. How can you not be entertained by this:

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The butter. The orange slice. The syrup. Fantastic.

Get your day started right with this waffle, egg, strawberry situation:

Chinese?

Afternoon slump?

Vegetarian dinner?

And finally, desert.

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I just don’t think these little works of art get the love they deserve. The coke has bubbles!! And ice!! And I love the paper noodles. And the waffles. Whoever thinks of these things is my new best friend.

This is the best day of my life

It’s been a long time since something blew my skirt up and made me want a cigarette. But – just in time for my birthday – comes these sweet little numbers.

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LED lighting is way overdue for a makeover and it’s finally here. These pups are on indiegogo, so you can get in on the action early.

Here’s a one minute video and it’s beautiful.

Here are some stills.

This is some next-level Jetson’s lighting here. These are laser etched and the light source is reflected from the bottom to the transparent acrylic glass, just like those tacky, long spaghetti things where they put the light on the bottom and it magically appears at the opposite end.

Here are a few that shows some of their detail:

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These are amazing and I want them now.

 

Keep the baby, throw out the sink

Recently, the presence of farm sinks has surged. A disturbing trend and I want to be very clear about my position on these monstrosities. They belong on a farm in Vermont or some such. People have taken to calling them apron sinks, but this is lipstick on a pig. A rose by any other name. You get it.

They’re also getting fancier, trying to seduce you, whispering sweet decorating nothings in your ear, lulling you into a stupor. Awwww….what a great idea. It’s so pretty and different.

SNAP OUT OF IT!!

In 3 – 5 years, you’re going to want to rip that bitch out of the wall with your fingernails.

This is the second time we’ve had to discuss this, so back away. #SpreadTheWord

I know this is a controversial opinion, but I stand by it.

 

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

Today’s offering is once again, about Ikea. This post has two parts to it-one whimsical and one terrifying. Clown-like terrifying.

Ivar Kamprad, the founder of Ikea, is dyslexic and things just weren’t going his way. He needed to design, distribute, and sell furniture based on his challenges, and thus, words we’ll never know have an item attached to it. Here’s what he came up with:

The bookcases are named after people or an occupation. The beds, wardrobes, and hallway furniture is named after places in Norway. The carpets named after places in Denmark. The dining tables and chairs are named after places in Finland. All bathroom stuff is named for lakes and rivers in Sweden. The remainder of their product line is named for places in Sweden. And finally – one in five Brits were conceived in an Ikea bed.

I’m going to admit that I have no idea where that last stat came from, so I can’t verify it, but I’m leaving it here because I love it. This concludes your daily dose of random byclbousens and stugerflagens.

Next up is the terrifying stuff. Let me just get something out of the way first. I kinda think the whole Ikea thing is genius. You come in and the first thing is the restaurant. How did they know I was hungry? Well, what they want is for me to bring my sugar levels up so I have the energy to shop. But-they give you an exit so you can escape if you’re feeling woozy.

But they LIE!! Lying liars is what they are. Everywhere you look there is an Exit sign. Here’s the problem-either there is no exit or the exit has an alarm on it, rendering it useless. Unless I set fire to it. (Another post) Please take a look and let me know if you agree:

Do you see this mess?? This is what’s waiting for you after you eat. Not a single one of these actually leads to a door you can go out of. The ones above a door?? Well, not really. That door leads to another department, so you’re really leaving one place of madness and slipping into another. Not a single one of these photos is a duplicate. They are everywhere. But they go nowhere. Clowns.