Month: September 2015

Oooohh. Touch me right there.

Finally. A model home that is just right. Doesn’t take itself too seriously and it looks like someone lives there. Let’s go down on this bitch. Oh, there are a shitload of pictures. It was a 2 story house and I loved almost everything in it. So-if you don’t like to look – well, if you don’t like to look, what the hell are you doing here?

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This lamp makes me swoon.

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The upstairs was whimsical and had a super cute dog theme. If you don’t love dogs, I don’t even want to know you. They did a really good job of choices and placement.

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I love the fishnets they used for curtains. Good imagination. And that purple/lavender wallpaper kinda makes me want to go to the dark side. With you.

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This lamp. Goodness. The glass is fabulous and I love that the inside of the shade matches. You sexy little bitch.

IMG_3518 IMG_3519 IMG_3520 IMG_3521  This white on white canvas is textured. It tickles.

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Oversized pictures can be tricky but this one works perfectly at the end of this hall. Tip of the hat to you, designer.

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This lamp. Fuck me up the ass.

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Nice legs there, little lady.

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These croquis are super fun. I think I would have painted them, though. A face, maybe some clothes.  Or they could have been on a tandem bike. That would’ve been cool.

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Oh dear. The owl. Will we ever escape?

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The boys’ room was pretty cool. They took that football theme all the way, didn’t they? And yet, the football is upside down. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t on purpose, but it cracks me up.

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Behind this little glass Jane Russell, what do you see? Could it be granite that clashes with the back splash? Because that’s all I see. Every single day. If you’re blind and someone picks out your house for you, remember to ask if the curtains match the carpet. Jeez, people.

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This bedroom is unisex, as far as I’m concerned. Again it has wallpaper I actually like. Super cute fake books.

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Love the Bowler hats.

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I love these glass knots, but I sure am starting to get sick of seeing them. Scale back, designers.

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These chairs give me the vapors. Sexy and smooth.

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These organic “things” (whatever the hell they are) are visually interesting and I don’t think I’d get tired of them in 10 minutes. Tip of the hat.

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All of the pieces of paper stuck in the base of this lamp were little love letters. Swoon.

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A builder detail, but this is finally a backsplash I could live with. Maybe.

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So it’s pretty obvious that this house pleased me. A solid A, for sure. A good portion of that, I admit, was because of the dogs. I’ve been waiting for a designer to incorporate some realness up in here. A lot of creativity and it worked. The whole thing pulled together nicely.

Super cute little guy in Wesley Chapel

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I love this childs room. Rooms for kids have been a pain in my ass for a long time, but lately it seems the designers have stepped up their game. Great detail in this room.

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Super cute, right? The acrylic light really makes it pop.

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This closet has a bench. And great lighting. And a tall vase on the floor. Take me now!!

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I’m not a big fan of round mirrors, but this guy is perfectly placed. There are close-ups of the frame in the second picture, and you can see the fabulous 3-dimensional texture.

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I love this sweet picture of ballet shoes. Not in-your-face Pepto pink.

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Overall I would say I’m down with house. The colors weren’t trying too hard and the overall vibe fit the architecture nicely. I have to give this one a B because I really think they could have done better with the lighting. The light over the dining area was pretty cool, but the lamps and other lighting didn’t make me breathe hard. The sconces made me overlook a few downgrades. Lots of texture and deep yellow. Nice. The living room was rather uninspired and the bathrooms could have been done by a teenager, so I stand by that B.

My favorite surprise

I went to a community that has a couple of builders I’m not crazy about. I don’t like the community or the two builders, but I have someone looking in this specific price point, so I thought I’d hop in and get some info. When I do stuff like this, I really never look at the model because they usually suck. So my brain took a while to absorb the disparity between the builder and the designers they hired.

This house was done in a bohemian, rustic theme and I loved it. Only one fuck up, but still a solid A. And the fuck up was really the builder’s, so no points taken off for it. To what do I refer? This monstrosity:

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I really didn’t think anyone actually used these outside of a potting shed in Vermont, but here it is in the model home. It’s ugly as shit no matter where it is, but it would be more appropriate at the farm.

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I can’t even tell you how much I love those brick columns. I had to adjust myself. As you can see, it’s earthy and livable. This is a house that isn’t sterile like most of the models I see. It felt warm and comfortable. A shitload of wood and brick, two of my favorite three design elements. It looks more like someone does live there, but they straightened up for guests.

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Holy crap-look at the sconces. We’ll be getting under the covers with sconces very soon

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I LOVE the touch of whimsy in the bathroom. And I love that they chose two different colors of fish. Tip of the hat to you, designers.

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Oh god, the lamp

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What did we learn today? We learned not to judge a house by it’s neighborhood or it’s elevation. This one had nothing to offer in either of those categories, but the inside made me ridiculously happy.

A quickie

It really is a quickie, so I hope you enjoy. I went to a model home to pick up some info and saw a couple of little goodies that I couldn’t resist.

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I love the texture on the walls. Unexpected, but perfectly suited to the house. Tip of the hat to you, designers.

Oh and that sink? No. I’m serious. No. If you live in a farmhouse in Vermont, ok-take a chance. Anywhere else? No.